Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth Paperback – March 29, 2005

Having become a pathological liar as a defense mechanism from my childhood. When my wife left me for lying, I thought I needed a new approach.Radical Honesty is about opening up. A girl I am/was dating and I discused this book. Especially the part... I resent you for XXX and then we traded She resents me for YYY. We went through several iterations of this, and then went through the I accept you for ZZZ and then she accepted me for WWW.This created a clearing for us. For example I resent her for getting me out of my basement. I don't particularly like public places and she seems to get me out of my hole and into public places. Is that absurd... YES. Is it a reality of how I feel YES! But we lauged together, because of course I censored myself prior to that exercise because it was absurd.Emotions aren't always making the best choices for how we feel in any given situation, but pin up one of those emotions such as fear anger or sadness. And you have yourself a ticking time bomb.In the example above I had an absurd repressed anger, and she had some of her own. But expressing it in the I feel .... when You... (because..... ) format put it out in the open and I transformed a little tad of mad into an enjoyable evening of glad.So That night I was IN integrity with myself and I was fully self expressed with my date. Now I can see if you can share the little absurd ones, you can share the big ones too. "I resent you when you kissed a guy I don't know on the cheek".... or "I accept you for singing to me when I was in the dumps"Awesome book. Its taken a lot of commitment to eradicate pathological liar from my character, but it has been very worthwhile and this book is a stepping stone for me to get back into relationship with others, and it gives me some exercises to go through very early in the dating process.Ciao!~Matt

This book was given to me while I was in the midst of the most painful and challenging time in my life.I have always considered myself to be one of the "most honest" (this belief was part of the OCPD reality I created for myself that fueled my self lies and my disconnection with those around me). Within 1 chapter I realized the amount of lies I had been telling myself as I justified my "moralizim" and belief by being honest to everyone else but myself (and in reality this dishonesty allowed me to lie to others with righteous indignation).This book has assisted me in transforming my life while discovering who I truly am. It has brought me closer to my wife then I ever thought possible. It has transformed my professional career and brought me deeper and more meaningful relationships with my family and my friends.While I do not think this book is the end all be all. . . I do think that it is a light in the darkness and a core piece in having self love, experiencing love, being present, and having a joyful life.I highly recommend this book and I have bought over 7 copies in the past month.I see the negative reviews and I am grateful for their take on the book. That being said, if there is a chance that this book might bring you the healing, self love, and joy that it has brought me, my wife, my family, and my friends. . . it is worth the price and the time!

i love the preface in this book. it offers insight into what the author calls "moralism" that we have been instilled with from our childhood all the way into adulthood. this moralist outlook defines who we are and clouds our true feelings preventing us from enjoying each moment we are alive. This theme is also well explored in Eckheart Tolle books which i highly recommend. I also liked the concept of perpetual adolescence experienced by people in technologically developed countries. Those two concepts alone are well worth speed reading the first half of this book. The book is well written and easy to read. It gets preachy and lives up to its title. I mean the author advocates not only radical honesty, but not hiding any feelings to appease people around you. This might turn you into one of those really annoying people that is spewing everything that is on their mind to anyone willing to bare it. Unless you are Neal Stephenson this is probably not a good idea so read this book with care.

We have learned to lie. And why? because if we lie we think people will " like us" ..that if we don't.. and they know the truth. ...well, then... they won't like us. Dr. Blanton tells us that if you want to have a honest relationship then you have to be... well... honest. True enough we don't like liars...but we have all learned our lesson well... We think we lie.. to not hurt the other person's feelings..to let the past just sit there where it is " not doing any harm" but really it is... doing harm... It is adding bricks to our " walls " that we divide ourselves... Dr. Blanton says that " crazy " is when people get locked up in their mind.. telling the same sick stories.. When we are honest we " get it out there... deal with it... and live another day" I like his definitions." Mystics are people who rediscover experience. Belief is a sea of suggestions about who we think we are. Psychotherapy was invented to try to keep body and soul together. Neurosis is ruining the present with past sick stories.".He says that morality makes us liars. That we are all trying to be so good that we are trained to be liars.And even if you cheat or your spouse... you gotta tell the truth.. the sweet little gory details... if you want true love you gotta tell the truth!