Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Original Edition)

Really interesting book - well written and easy to digest all the information. Clear and helpful.

This book was hugely helpful in my journey as the spouse of a person with addiction issues.

Great book, absolutely life changing. Written in the 80's but I think where it says 'Alcoholic' you could substitute the word 'Addict" or 'Narcissist' and it means the same. Very enlightening book.

this book came with a different cover but it's the same book it's worth reading if you have a up bringing that is equal to digging your way out of emotional tangles and circumstances that will haunt you for the rest of your life, it helps you pull your weeds out and feel the empty space inside with confidence and self esteem

Good value and price.

This is a real must for anyone who is trying to change the life of another (especially family member)and failing miserably. I say this very tongue in cheek as I could not see that the problem was me not them. This book very gently shows that your not a failure but you do need to work on yourself not the other person. It might put some people off that it is based on the Al-Anon principles of 12 steps but if you can substitute the word of the problem that you are involved with in place of the word alcohol then it will become enlightening for you. I read this book twice before starting very slowly the exercises at the end of each chapter (optional) and the way I now feel and act is begining to prove very beneficial. I would recommend this book.

This book was recommended to me as a game changer and I concur … that it is ! I didn’t resonate with codependency in relation to alcoholism as this isn’t my lived experience. However , I do recognise codependency traits in myself in my relationships. I really resonated with practicing detachments . I have seen people comment on that this is far from the human design. How I understood it , was that it’s okay to want and desire a relationship but you cannot let it dictate your life and whilst people can meet your needs we shouldn’t depend on it , we can only depend on ourselves by honouring ourself and asking ‘what do I need ‘. I highlighted a lot of points and had a lot of tabs on this .. will definitely be revisiting. The book feels very practical and not airy fairy like some other self help books . Loved it !!!

At page 86, I then needed a drink! Melody Beattie mentions on almost every page (okay, a little drastic, but you’ll get my drift) about ‘alcoholics’. I found I had to try and replace the word ‘alcoholics’ with something that was more relevant to me so I could feel she was actually relating to me/my situation rather than being understanding to just those people affected by alcoholism. Not all codependents have become that way because a parent/spouse is an alcoholic, and Melody keeps repeating this over and over. If you are already fed up reading me write ‘alcohlics’ in my review, then this book definitely isn’t for you as she continuously speaks of it. She had a very good summary of things we codependents do which I printed out and highlighted in a ‘red, amber, green’ effect to show just how much codependency has affected my life and it was shocking. I would go back to her book again for there were parts that actually did relate to me but too much is geared around the alcoholic abusers.

A lifeline when you think all is lost. Melody Beattie speaks lovingly, compellingly and reassuringly through her book offering guidance and hope to anyone who has experienced dysfunctional family life. She helps you to literally regain balance and sanity when one's world may be growing progressively crazier and difficult to cope with. When you feel alone, frightened, overwhelmed and lost...when you feel locked into isolation and believe yourself beyond human help...this book reaches out and lovingly leads you upward out of the dark abyss into sunshine...helping you understand powerful truths at integral levels and helping you discover that there is life beyond the painful chaos that has come to be your life.

Recommended by a counselor. Although it does talk quite a bit about being a spouse of alcoholic, it doesn't take away from the pervasive theme of the book: if you're allowing others to affect you so deeply that you forget who you are - you're codependent. That's my take on codependency. I didn't particularly agree with some concepts of what it means to detach, some of them came across as selfish however I think if you're detaching with integrity, and not throwing others under the bus or lack consideration for doing the right thing then it's ok. This part of the book requires a bit of critical thinking to get through. Overall, I think it's an excellent book, easy to read and follow and is helpful in my journey. It is helping me to get back to my baseline of how I used to be, prior to certain events; it's actually making me feel very calm and compassionate toward myself. Good excercises too. It's thought provoking but not mentally draining. Not much repetition, new concepts in each chapter.

Knowledgeable insightful book

A coworker recommended this book to me, after witnessing my turmoil of constantly being taken advantage of professoinally and personally. She said, it opened her eyes. With doubts, I bought this book. I had just a little bit too much from everyone. I wanted to stop feeling like a victim. I did not understand why people think of me as a bitch, even after I did so much for just everybody and none for myself. This book, saved me. While devoting a significant portion to discussing substance codependence and dysfunctional relationships (between lovers, friends, families and any human beings), it showed me the most important lesson that I learned: be true to yourself. If there is something you do not like, say no. Do not say yes because you expect a certain behavior from the other person. What he/she does, is irrelevant. What is it that you want to do? And more importantly, what is it, that you do not want to do? Recognize that, and learn to respond to it. I do not have anyone in my life who is dependent on alcohol or any substance. But I have experienced the same disappointment when someone you love fails to act responsibly. I used to be angry, sad, depressed and still feel them for many different reasons. Feelings are fine. I have learned, after reading this book, how to react to my feelings. I don't know whether I would have understood this book 10 years ago. But I do now. If you feel the pain I used to feel (and sometimes still do, because it is a long way to recovery), please read this book. Please feel better and say no to people who take advantage of you. Please love yourself enough to be codependent no more.

El libro es increíble, de buena calidad, el problema fue el tema del envío, llegó en un estado dañado en la punta del libro que hizo que se doblará esa parte, deberían tener más cuidado con el tema del envío