The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World (Perigee Book)

"The Introvert's Way - Living A Quiet Life In A Noisy World" by Sophia Dembling was eye opening and very self revealing. I discovered it in reading an article by the author in the Wall Street Journal. I was 76. I've had a good life. I'm highly educated. I've retired from a good profession. Yet, somehow, I've always felt that I just didn't mark up. I felt like an imposter. Deep down, I was a loner who preferred being by myself a lot of the time. I spent loads of time just sitting around thinking. I always seemed to be inside my own head. I shunned obvious socializing. I tried to hide my true nature and be more outgoing. Well, after reading only the Introduction to this book (What Would Jung Say?) I fully realized that I was a deep-dyed introvert. I guess I've always known, but I didn't think about it much. I always viewed it as a negative characteristic. Also, finally, I realized, with the help of Author Dembling and this book, that it was totally normal and not negative at all. Ms Dembling defines what she means by the term introvert and introduces the extrovert-introvert spectrum. On that scale I lie deep within the introverts. Then, chapter by chapter, she explains what it means to be an introvert and always from an introvert's point of view. It's revealing and interesting. I can clearly see that author Dembling understands my kind of person. Every chapter fits me almost perfectly. Perhaps one thing I might elaborate on is shyness. It seems to go along with being an introvert, or at least that's the way people think. I've always considered myself as being shy, but am I? I love public speaking, for example. I've given over 400 public talks with audiences up to 300, plus I've taught university classes on a daily basis. I love being in front of an audience or on TV. I once had a 20-minute gig as a stand-up comic with an audience of about 150. I spent two solid weeks preparing for it, and when I finished and stepped down from the podium people were crying from the laughter. I had a high that lasted a week! This is shyness? But I'm still an introvert. Well, Johnnie Carson was an introvert, as Dembling points out. Then there's the matter of extroversion via booze. That seems to work for a lot of people. Not me. Not at all. I can arrive at a party as an introvert, take a couple drinks and I'm an introvert who has had a couple drinks. I can drink to where it's hard to walk, but I'm still an introvert. At times, I drink a lot but nobody has ever witnessed me publicly drunk. Well, other people certainly aren't that way, as we all know. In graduate school, I knew a very shy extrovert. Yes, that's possible, as Dembling points out. Once in class on the first day, the professor asked the name and previous school of everyone. Each student had to stand up and deliver it. This one guy couldn't do it. He couldn't utter his own name or his undergraduate school! He was that shy! However, he would show up at a party and his shyness would decrease with every drink. Before long he'd be in the center of the room leading the crowd in singing hilarious dirty songs. He was always a big hit and everybody would be talking about it days afterward. At one crowded party, I heard a bunch of muffled thumping and bumping sounds and I looked around and this guy was in the center of the room outfitted with skis and ski poles. He had skied down the stairs from the second floor to that position. Everyone was laughing and having a great time with it. Ah yes, shy extroverts! In looking back on my early years and using the insight of this book, I'd say that both Mom and Dad were introverts. Mom especially, and anyone could spot it. Dad was more difficult. He was superficially much more outgoing, but I think it was a learned condition and he was taught, possibly in corporate training sessions, that being an introvert was a bad thing. Well, I was a born introvert and it was readily apparent, and becomes much more apparent after reading this fine book. Dad always regarded it as a negative characteristic and thought it would prove to be a hindrance in my later life. He'd often tell me I had to be more outgoing. He'd always point out successful people and indicate out how they had lot's of personality, as he put it, and how people with less personality (a secret message to me) would never be as successful. I developed feelings of inferiority. No matter, it became a driving force. When I went to college, I had a slow start, but by the time I was 26 I had BA, MS and PhD degrees, all from major universities. Then I got a university teaching position at 26, and by 32 I was promoted to Full Professor. At the age of 35 I was elected Department Chairman. Dad knew enough university people to realize that this record was stunningly successful. I think he gradually came to realize that much of what he taught me was nonsense. Well, I should add, that his intentions were in the right place, I have no doubt. I'm sure Dad didn't know what an introvert was. He was interpreting my lack of extrovert qualities as being negative. Dembling explains this common tendency well in her book. Now, I have a wonderful little four-year-old boy. He's very bright, energetic, personable and good looking. He's the picture of future success, I'd guess. But I can already see that down under everything, he's a introvert. That's okay. I'm very proud of him and I prefer him being an introvert. Personally, I regard it as a gift and I'll never criticize him for it. I'll try to nurture him in the best way possible to thrive in a world of extoverts. This is an excellent book, especially for introverts. Read it and understand yourself. If you're an extrovert, read the book as a way of understanding introverts. Gary Peterson

I read Susan Cain's book, Quiet, just over 18 months ago, and it changed my world. Sophia Dembling's book, The Introvert's Way is a light-hearted, humorously approached, also sometimes sharp-tongued reveal of some of the situations and mindsets introverts experience, with more than a hint of irreverence toward, though fair treatment of, extroverts. I enjoyed The Introvert's Way but found it a light read, perhaps mainly because Susan Cain's book had already, earlier, exploded the revelations of recognizing myself in print (finally!), and prepared me for The Introvert's Way. Sophia Dembling provides insights, wisdom, and challenge, with some touchback to experts and case studies, and provides a worthy read - the depth is there, but the tone makes the content accessible in a way different than Quiet. I've finished reading the book and forwarded to a colleague, also an introvert, for his perusal. It is definitely worth the read, and the sharing.

Very useful and readable book: Until my therapist announced that she thought I might be an introvert, a closet introvert - going along with the crowd, the party, the act, I'd never thought of myself as such. I'd always thought of myself, in a rather negative way, as simply different and a loner and perhaps a square peg in a round hole. A whole life lived uncomfortably. This book points out that shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Dembling has made my life easier. Yes, I'm still 'different,' but I no longer feel that I have no right to be. This author empowers those of us who would generally rather climb a tree, find a breezy branch and read for a couple of hours, or take long walks, or experiment in the kitchen -- alone -- and encourages us to stand up for our need for peace and quiet and solitude when necessary and insist on keeping the blast to a quiet hum. She gives tips on how to appear at a party, fade into the wallpaper and THEN disappear, tips on minimalist conversation with people you have nothing in common with, and tips that will make your life easier if you even lean toward being an introvert. Another good book on this subject is "Too Bright, Too Loud, Too Fast." Sorry don't remember the author, but it too at least let me know that I wasn't the only one.

I was excited about this book after reading the online sample, but working my through the book it was clear that this was a compilation of shorter online postings. Any individual chapter was fine, but put together there just wasn't an overall conclusion to take away from the book. I don't feel like I really gained anything from reading this book other than just passing the time. I've got Quiet coming up in the next few months and hopefully that one will be a bit more robust in terms of overall insight based on something more concrete than just the wandering blog posts found here.

O livro aborda o assunto da introversão na perspectiva dos introvertidos. Achei maravilhoso e me identifiquei com tantas partes do livro que foi de certo modo libertador! Principalmente poder perceber que a introversão não é um problema e sim uma característica. Desafia os introvertidos a se orgulharem de sua introversão mostrando em alguns momentos os dois lados da moeda (introvertidos X extrovertidos) com um humor ácido e inteligente. "Introverts are not anti people, as some people infer. I don't eat tuna salad every day, that doesn't mean I'm anti-tuna salad." Sophia Dembling

Ich habe das Buch durch ein Zitat entdeckt und bin froh, es gekauft und gelesen zu haben. Die Autorin schreibt mit Humor und vermittelt gleichzeitig den Ernst mancher Situationen. Sie beschreibt anhand von verschiedenen Szenarien die Vor- und Nachteile im Leben einer introvertierten Person. Definitiv weiterzuempfehlen an Menschen die sich für diese Thema interessieren oder die sich daran annähern wollen.

So enjoy picking up this 'easy to read' book on a regular basis and reading about why I feel and behave the way I do. No longer do I worry that I am different from others around me. This book has made me realise that it is not just ok to be me but actually it is great to be me. Us introverts have so much to offer that extroverts dont. We are sensitive, thoughtful, kind, good listeners and quite often very intelligent. We dont need to have others around us all the time and are lucky enough to enjoy our own company so rarely feel lonely. We are not unsociable or shy but prefer to spend quality time with a few close friends rather than spend lots of time with large groups of noisy people who talk a lot of trivial nonsense. So refreshing, if you get any of what I have written above then this book is for you. Thank you so so much Sophia Dembling for this inspirational book

Este libro ayuda a empoderar a las personas que nacimos (y siempre seremos) introvertidos. No sólo nos explica que es algo genético y no controlado por nadie, sino nos explica como los extrovertidos del mundo que mandan en la política, el marketing, protagonistas de películas, los colegios etc. nos hacen pensar que los introvertidos son los defectuosos; no los extrovertidos. La autora esboza las ventajas e inconvenientes de las dos personalidades. Ejemplo: el mundo NO va bien por culpa de los que mandan en el mundo y los que mandan casi siempre son extrovertidos.

Almost gave me permission to be myself. Great book.