Hazelden Publishing Codependent No More

Really interesting book - well written and easy to digest all the information. Clear and helpful.

A lifeline when you think all is lost. Melody Beattie speaks lovingly, compellingly and reassuringly through her book offering guidance and hope to anyone who has experienced dysfunctional family life. She helps you to literally regain balance and sanity when one's world may be growing progressively crazier and difficult to cope with. When you feel alone, frightened, overwhelmed and lost...when you feel locked into isolation and believe yourself beyond human help...this book reaches out and lovingly leads you upward out of the dark abyss into sunshine...helping you understand powerful truths at integral levels and helping you discover that there is life beyond the painful chaos that has come to be your life.

Recommended by a counselor. Although it does talk quite a bit about being a spouse of alcoholic, it doesn't take away from the pervasive theme of the book: if you're allowing others to affect you so deeply that you forget who you are - you're codependent. That's my take on codependency. I didn't particularly agree with some concepts of what it means to detach, some of them came across as selfish however I think if you're detaching with integrity, and not throwing others under the bus or lack consideration for doing the right thing then it's ok. This part of the book requires a bit of critical thinking to get through. Overall, I think it's an excellent book, easy to read and follow and is helpful in my journey. It is helping me to get back to my baseline of how I used to be, prior to certain events; it's actually making me feel very calm and compassionate toward myself. Good excercises too. It's thought provoking but not mentally draining. Not much repetition, new concepts in each chapter.

Knowledgeable insightful book

A coworker recommended this book to me, after witnessing my turmoil of constantly being taken advantage of professoinally and personally. She said, it opened her eyes. With doubts, I bought this book. I had just a little bit too much from everyone. I wanted to stop feeling like a victim. I did not understand why people think of me as a bitch, even after I did so much for just everybody and none for myself. This book, saved me. While devoting a significant portion to discussing substance codependence and dysfunctional relationships (between lovers, friends, families and any human beings), it showed me the most important lesson that I learned: be true to yourself. If there is something you do not like, say no. Do not say yes because you expect a certain behavior from the other person. What he/she does, is irrelevant. What is it that you want to do? And more importantly, what is it, that you do not want to do? Recognize that, and learn to respond to it. I do not have anyone in my life who is dependent on alcohol or any substance. But I have experienced the same disappointment when someone you love fails to act responsibly. I used to be angry, sad, depressed and still feel them for many different reasons. Feelings are fine. I have learned, after reading this book, how to react to my feelings. I don't know whether I would have understood this book 10 years ago. But I do now. If you feel the pain I used to feel (and sometimes still do, because it is a long way to recovery), please read this book. Please feel better and say no to people who take advantage of you. Please love yourself enough to be codependent no more.